


It's not that difficult to get your head around (you'll never meet another me)

by pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos



Series: Juno Steel and the Hilarious Case of the Meddling High Schoolers [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teachers, BECAUSE IT'S MY FIC AND I GET TO MAKE THE RULES, Buddy and Vespa adopt everyone, Canon Non-Binary Character, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Genderfuckery, Humor, I just want to have identity shenanigans, I'm so happy I can use that tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, No angst we are here to have a good time, Other, also ao3 should have nb options in the relationships tags, and I think juno would be good with kids fight me, but they're not students they're teachers CAUSE MENTORSHIP BITCHES, except jet cause he's a strong independent 10 ft man, just popping in to say: benmick supremacy, like yes juno is a dude but he is a lady he is a human GIVE HIM AN OPTION, no beta we die like all of Juno's previous parental figures, rita is better than everyone, rita: gosh this is so sad jet play stalkers tango, the aurinko family feels are strong in this one, the students: mr steel is having an affair!, they're very wholesome I love them, this is almost crack but then I gave it an actual plot, this is the fic equivalent of a shitpost, wow I guess I have to add that now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25706728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos/pseuds/pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos
Summary: “Rita, you’re the closest to Juno out of all of us here and the most talkative, yet you’ve been oddly silent. What do you have to say?”Rita paused for a second, before speaking.“What did you tell Nova, Mick?”“Well…” Mick said, sheepishly, “I may or may not have gotten a bit teary and stammered out a response about how Dr. Glass is a very respectable man and Mr. Steel is responsible for his own choices, but we shouldn’t judge him too harshly, before running off to weep about how love is dead.”“Mick, you are my hero.” Vespa smirked, wiping fake tears from her eyes.“Well,” Rita chimed, “I think we deserve to have a little fun with this, don’t you?”Mick beamed, Vespa let out an ungodly cackle, and even Buddy and Jet had a nefarious glint in their eyes.Oh yeah, this was gonna be really entertaining.---The teachers of Carte Blanche Intergalactic Academy know that Professor Steel's husband, one Peter Nureyev, and Dr. Rex Glass are one and the same. The students on the other hand...
Relationships: Aurinko Crime Family - Relationship, Benzaiten Steel & Juno Steel, Buddy Aurinko & Juno Steel, Buddy Aurinko & Peter Nureyev, Buddy Aurinko & Peter Nureyev & Rita & Jet Sikuliaq & Juno Steel & Vespa, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa, I'm so happy I can include benmick now!!!, Juno Steel & Vespa (Penumbra Podcast), Mick Mercury/Benzaiten Steel, Peter Nureyev & Benzaiten Steel, Peter Nureyev & Rita, Peter Nureyev & Vespa, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Rita & Juno Steel
Series: Juno Steel and the Hilarious Case of the Meddling High Schoolers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877974
Comments: 77
Kudos: 253





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is so dumb, apologies in advance

All things considered, Rita was having a good day. She’d finished grading those new papers with Mr. Steel, she and Jet were going out for lunch and then binge-watch the new season of her favorite stream, Buddy had brought muffins to the staff room that morning, life was good. 

She hummed to herself as she scrolled through Mr. Steel’s notes for the next class, making little footnotes and adding little pointers here and there. Mr. Steel, or Professor Steel if you were a student, was one of the best detectives she’d ever known. Rita would’ve followed him anywhere, he was her best friend after all. So when he decided to give up his PI job and take up a teaching position at Carte Blanche Intergalactic Academy, it felt natural that she should follow.

And now she was here, trying to focus on the next lesson plan, when Mick Mercury burst into the room.

“Rita, you’ll never fucking believe what just happened-!”

“Mr. Mercury!” Buddy chided, from the corner of the staff where she and Vespa sat. “I must ask you not to use such profanity in my presence. I’d have to report such behavior.”

“Oh, uh, sorry Dean, I just, oh my god you won’t believe what just happened.” Mick apologized as he came and sat down across from Rita. 

“Well?” Rita said, impatiently, “Spill!”

“Ok, so, I’m walking to down from Sasha’s office, right? I had some things I had to bring to Juno, and I was in a rush, and you know how he-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what Mr. Steel’s like.” Rita cried, flailing her hands, “Get to the juicy bit, will ya?”

“Right, right, sorry, I shouldn’t ramble, I can’t help it you know, it’s a whole-”

“Mick, please,” Vespa cut in, making her way over to the desk, joining Jet and Rita, “Just tell us the story, damnit.”

“Right, so, I’m walking over to Juno’s room, when this student just crashes into me, Zolotovna or something, y’know her?”

“Oh, that’s the kid with the weird crush on Glass, right? That kid’s always got her head in the clouds.” Rita groaned. “But, c’mon, how’s that juicy?”

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there.” Mick starts to gesture wildly as he talks, “And so I’m about to tear her a new one about running in the halls, and how she could get hurt, and this child just grabs me by the shirt and practically screams: ‘Did you know about Dr. Glass?’ I was confused, I was like ‘What?’ and she just starts ranting about how she’d gone to ask Juno some questions about the last assignment, and she walks in and sees him and Dr. Glass making out, and she’s just like freaking out, and I’m about to get mad, cause you know-?”

“Yeah, what the hell?” Vespa demands, slamming her fist on the table, “Homophobia in this the year of our fucking lord 2652?”

“That’s exactly what I was gonna say, but then she goes ‘I never thought Professor Steel would have it in him! And he seemed so in love with that husband of his, but this! I can’t believe he’d cheat!’”

Rita could practically feel the weight of the silence that fell over the group. Vespa’s jaw fell to the floor, Buddy’s eyes were wider than saucers, and Jet’s eyebrows were practically floating off his head.

“... Come again?” Buddy said, cutting through the silence after 20 seconds.

“Yeah! The students don’t know!” Mick said, far too excited about the whole ordeal.

“How?” Vespa cried incredulously, “Juno always going on and on about his amazing husband!”

Rita had to admit, endearing though his rants were, Mr. Steel did have a habit of monologuing for hours about everything and anything. The subject his students enjoyed hearing about the most was always his and Peter’s escapades from back in the day. He’d get this cute lil glint in his eyes and a smile big enough to swallow the whole school, and the kids LOVED IT.

“Correction, he’s always ranting about ‘his darling Nureyev’.” Mick replied, his smirk growing with each second, “But the students-...”

“They don’t know that Glass is... “ Jet let out a small gasp, dots connecting in his mind.

Buddy turned to Rita, her expression unreadable.

“Rita, you’re the closest to Juno out of all of us here and the most talkative, yet you’ve been oddly silent. What do you have to say?”

Rita paused for a second, before speaking.

“What did you tell Nova, Mick?”

“Well…” Mick said, sheepishly, “I may or may not have gotten a bit teary and stammered out a response about how Dr. Glass is a very respectable man and Mr. Steel is responsible for his own choices, but we shouldn’t judge him too harshly, before running off to weep about how love is dead.”

“Mick, you are my hero.” Vespa smirked, wiping fake tears from her eyes.

“Well,” Rita chimed, “I think we deserve to have a little fun with this, don’t you?”

Mick beamed, Vespa let out an ungodly cackle, and even Buddy and Jet had a nefarious glint in their eyes.

Oh yeah, this was gonna be really entertaining.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita tries to do her job, fails, and watches her students lose their minds over Mr. Steel and Dr. Glass' bad flirting

For a few days, it seemed that all the students could talk about was Mr. Steel’s ‘scandalous affair’. Every time he’d bring up his husband in class, the students looked like they were ready to burst into tears. Of course, him being an oblivious idiot, Mr. Steel didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong, and Mr. Nureyev was too much of a sweetheart to bring up all the dirty looks he got from the students. 

Things really started getting good after Peter’s first class on Monday.

Rita had been sitting in the corner, diligently helping him sift through the assignments from the last week, when-

“Hey, asshole!” Mr. Steel barged into the room, practically kicking down the door on his way in. “I brought you your coffee.”

“Ah, thank you, Juno dear.” Peter beamed down at Mr. Steel, not noticing the hushed conversations between students. “You are a godsend.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Rex.” Mr. Steel drew out his husband’s ‘name’ like it was an insult, something that had been a joke between them for years. “You still need to give me a ride to lunch with Ben.”

“Of course, darling,” Peter smirked, “The Ruby 7 awaits.”

“Oh gods, no, not that piece of-!”

“Now, now, Juno, why must you attack my car so?”

“Cause it’s a travesty against humanity.”

“Uh, excuse me, professors?” One of the students piped up, “What’s a ‘Ruby 7’?”

Mr. Steel threw his head back and groaned as Peter’s grin grew, and he spoke.

“Why the Ruby 7 is only the greatest getaway car of all time-”

“Rex, it’s hideous-"

“You used to love it!”

“Yeah, before you painted it green!”

“Green is a lovely color!”

“The car is called the ‘ruby’! It should be red, you heathen!”

“Wait a minute,” one of the students cut in, “Did you say ‘getaway car’?”

Mr. Steel and Peter shared a knowing look.

“Let’s just say, we got up to all sorts of trouble in our younger years, isn’t that right, Rita?”

Rita couldn’t help smiling at that.

“Oh yeah, boss, remember that time you guys stole that relic thing from Dr. Miasma’s office? She got so mad!”

“Or when you were convinced your step-father was trying to turn your family into an army of tech-zombies?” Peter nudged Mr. Steel in the shoulder fondly.

“Was I wrong though?”

Peter shook his head as he laughed.

“No, I suppose not. Now, if you wouldn’t mind letting me teach my class…?”

“I’m sorry, am I distracting you, Dr. Glass?” Mr. Steel teased, “Oh well, I suppose I’ll find someone who appreciates my charms, perhaps I’ll go bug Jet, he won’t berate me like this.”

“Oh, you love it.”

“Choke and die!” Mr. Steel called as he ran out the door.

Maybe Peter didn’t notice the shift in the student’s mood, but Rita did. Oh, they were gonna have a field day with this.

“They knew each other when they were our age!” She heard one of the students whisper excitedly, “Who knows how long they’ve been… y’know?”

“How didn’t anyone notice this before? They’re so obvious!”

Rita had to admit, the ‘rivalry’ between Dr. Glass and Mr. Steel was something of a fixture at Carte Blanche. They were opposites in almost every way. Mr. Steel was an ‘academic’, Peter was an actor. Where Mr. Steel rarely gave homework and was laid back, Dr. Glass was strict, taxing and harsh. Where Mr. Steel was kind and reassuring, Dr. Glass was a critic. He wasn’t cruel or mean, but comparatively, Juno was a saint. Dr. Glass always made sure to disrupt Mr. Steel’s history lectures to bug (flirt) with Juno, and mess with the students, and if Mr. Steel had a free period you could bet he was over in the Drama classroom making snide comments, or sitting on the desk and trying to distract students. For years, students had written it off as two ‘best buds’ making each other’s lives hard, but now-

“They’re constantly flirting! I can’t believe it took us this long-!”

All the while, Peter and Mr. Steel were sickeningly oblivious, thy hardly noticed anything! 

Oh yeah, Rita thought, this was gonna be fun…


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno tells his study period how he met his husband... no one makes it out fully alive

Things got even better (much much worse) during Mr. Steel’s study hall. He made a habit of chatting with students, putting them at ease. Today he was going off about defunding the police when a student asked how Mr. Steel had met his husband.

“Oh, well, uh, It’s a pretty interesting story actually, y’know I used to live in Old Town right? Well, it wasn’t a great neighborhood, and my family was… going through some stuff. My mom was working herself to death, my stepdad was a slimy bastard, don’t tell Buddy I said that word, and my brother and I had a total of like 3 friends, so suffice to say life was tough. Then one day, this new kid shows up. His dad moved in three apartments over from my place, so Rita tried to make us hang out. Now, I was a bratty seven-year-old, so when this guy came over, I was climbing out the window, trying to escape. Turns out, new kid likes getting into trouble as much as me. We were inseparable after that. His dad and him moved around a lot, but if he was in Old Town, he was with me. Then, one day, he just disappeared, and I didn’t see him again for a while. Meanwhile, I got into the HCPD, I left the HCPD, and I started working as a PI. So, one day I get called in on this murder, right?”

He paused when he saw the shocked looks on the students' faces.

“Oh god that came out wrong, my husband isn’t a murderer! He was involved in it though, see, he was an agent assigned to the case... kinda? Long story short, he wasn’t an actual agent and he was a master thief, cause his dad was making him do weird crime stuff. So, we kept bumping into each other, and eventually, he reached out to me, saying he wanted to leave his father and the life of crime. That’s when I met Dean Aurinko. She and Ms. Vespa took us in after we eloped, Buddy actually walked me down the aisle and everything and I haven’t seen either of our parents since. I mean, we still had Rita, and Mick and my brother Ben, and I guess we still had Sasha, but… I mean, it’s a… pretty unorthodox way to reconnect with your childhood- Oh my god, are you crying?”

Sure enough, half the students were crying. Jeremy was practically sobbing.

“That’s- That’s so romantic, Mr. Steel!” He wailed into Samantha’s scarf, “You saved each other with the power of love!”

“Um, I guess?” Mr. Steel said uneasily, patting Jeremy on the back.

“Wait, what about your mom?” Samantha asked, gently pushing Jeremy off her. “She wasn’t a criminal too, right?”

“Oh no,” Mr. Steel chuckled, “No, she wasn’t a criminal, but my step-dad was, a bit… uh, toxic? Like he used her for her ideas and money and stuff, and she became kinda bitter, and she was kind of a homophobe? I guess we just never worked out our beef. Pretty sure if i’d stayed there any longer, she’d have killed me, hah…”

The students were silent for a few seconds before Jeremy started bawling again, and poor Mr. Steel had to spend the rest of the period reassuring the kids that his mom wasn’t a murderer. Rita, on the other hand, spent the period texting Mick about how the kids were going to kill Ramses Takano - Steel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i support jack takano's rights. jack takano's rights to SHUT THE FUCK UP


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vespa sits in on Dr. Glass' drama class... It goes about as well as you'd expect

Vespa hadn’t expected things to escalate so quickly. One moment she was fixing up some kid’s bloody nose, the next she was watching a class full of kids silently fume at their drama teacher.

  
She’d gotten a call from some parent about their kid needing to fill out a new healthcare form, so she’d gone marching down to the drama room. She threw the door open, startling Glass mid-monologue.

“Glass! One of your kids needs to do their paperwork!” She hollered at the beanpole of a teacher.

“Oh yes, I believe these are Samantha’s? Yes, well, here you go dear, now where we? Ah yes, Twelfth Night, a classical Shakespearan tale of love and deception. There are many interesting qualities to this play, it’s pacing, it’s setting, it’s-”

“Shit ton of homoerotic subtext?” Juno quipped, from his perch on Glass’ desk. Nureyev only chuckled.

“Well, I was going to say it's interesting relationship with gender and sexuality but that’s certainly one way to put it.” He replied. To anyone who didn’t know them, he’d sound teasing, mean even, but to a friend like Vespa, it seemed only fond.

“Dr. Glass?” One of the students, Ingrid, Vespa recalled, piped up, “Doesn’t the school own a special edition of Twelfth Night?”

“Well,” Glass started, walking over to his desk, opening one drawer to pull out the leather-bound book, one of the most stunning Vespa had ever seen. “Technically I own a copy of a special edition. Gold embossing, newly recovered notes, and historical analysis, it is quite the treasure.” 

  
He walked down to the middle of the room, allowing the students to crowd around the table where he set it down. She couldn’t help but feel just a little proud of how enchanted his students were. She’d never been as close with Juno as Buddy, and she’d always been aloof with Nureyev, but she had to admit, she had a soft spot for the kid. And to see his students so enraptured with him... well, Vespa was allowed to take a little credit for how far these kids had come, right?

“Now, as Juno had so eloquently put it, the play does in fact have a ‘shit ton of homoerotic subtext’. The twins, Viola and Sebastian, get separated during a shipwreck, and Viola assumes the identity of Cesario, a man. She then falls in love with Duke Orsino, who is in love with the Countess Olivia, who in turn falls in love with Cesario. Now, what is Shakespeare trying to convey here?”

“Olivia is a lesbian?”

“Well-”

“They should just be polyamorous?”

“I mean-”

“Everyone is trans?”

“I-” Nureyev started, barely holding back a laugh, as Vespa cackled and Juno let out a triumphant ‘YES!’, “I suppose, that wouldn’t be an _incorrect_ reading-”

“Viola is genderfluid!”

“Oh, Rex, wasn’t there that production of ‘Twelfth’ we’d seen where Viola was played by a genderfluid person? Was that at Proxima in ‘48 or…?” Juno started to ask, scratching his chin lightly as he thought.

“No, no,” Vespa cut in, “That was ‘Rosanne and Juliet’, you saw Twelfth Night the day after M’Tendere got their fourth doctorate in La Verrier-”

“You’re both mistaken,” Nureyev said, shaking his head, “La Varrier was ‘Titus Andronicus’, remember? Cecil had lent the company some of his custom machines of torture for that one. No, we saw ‘Twelfth Night’ on Oct 17 in ‘46, at the New Town Martian Opera, remember?”

Juno groaned, as his husband smirked. “Right, right, of course, you’re right…” He shot Glass one of his ‘looks’. “How do you remember this stuff?”

“It’s a gift, my dear.” Nureyev cleared his throat before turning back to his class, who looked thoroughly lost. “Now, if we could return to the actual content of the play, what I was trying to convey was that we see one of Shakespeare’s most popular themes return in this work, that love and life becomes infinitely more complicated under falsity. The play emphasizes this when Viola agonizes over her feelings for Orsino and Olivia’s feelings for her. She laments that she cannot reveal herself to Orsino or to Olivia and feels conflicted about her own affections.”

“This is all a very fancy way of saying that my girl was having some serious bi panic.” Juno quipped from the desk, startling a laugh out of a couple of students.

“Yes, yes, now,” Glass rolled his eyes, turning to Act 2, Scene 2, pulling out a small slip of paper folded into the page. “Shakespeare himself was something of a romantic, and, according to Ms. Rita, a ‘bicon’, as seen in this, Sonnet 18. A love poem, to his, for lack of a better term, boyfriend. One of his most well-known pieces of writing, and yet so few know the history and love story behind it… Vespa? Would you like to read?” He said, held the slip out to her.

Vespa shrugged and took the paper, before beginning to read.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimmed;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimmed.

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st.

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

“Thank you, Vespa, that was lovely.” Glass smiled at her, “Now, class, what can we interpret from this poem, Shakespeare’s subtext, and queer history?”

A small girl in the back raised her hand timidly and spoke up.

“Well, maybe the sonnet talks about how his lover will be remembered for as long as there are people to talk about his poetry and beauty? Maybe it’s connected to how queer people were forced to hide their true selves? Maybe he was talking about how even though they couldn’t be in love in public, their love would live on forever through his writing?”

Nureyev beamed at her, and the girl let out a small smile.

“That’s an excellent theory, Priscilla, of course, we can never truly know as writing has many interpretations and we cannot ask Shakespeare himself, but I think that’s a lovely analysis. And fits in very well with the concept of secret identities that is prevalent in Shakespeare’s works. Keep that in mind when you break off into groups to pick your scenes.” He said, as he turned to close the book and put it back on the shelf.

“Dr. Glass,” One student piped up, “Can’t one of our groups use the book instead of the digital copy?”

“I’m sorry, Alex, but unfortunately, the Book is a little too precious for me to hand out. It is one of my most prized possessions.”

“Where’d you even get such a fancy book?” Nathan asked, leaning back in his chair, “It’s not like there are any antique bookstores nearby.”

Glass beamed, turning back towards Juno. 

“It was an anniversary gift from my lovely wife.”

Oh, if looks could kill…

The students' faces portrayed a varied mix of horror, absolute heartbreak, and a profound desire to burn a hole through Nureyev’s head.

It was _glorious._

“Well…” Vespa cleared her throat after a few seconds of charged silence. “As entertaining your classes are, Glass, if Samantha is done with those papers, I have to go turn those in. I don’t want to be late for date night with Buddy.”

“Oh right, you two are going to see that new stream Rita recommended right?” Juno exclaimed, smiling, completely oblivious to the crisis of the students, “The Mega-Ultrabots of Cyberjustice? Oh, that one’s great! You’ll never believe the ending though when the love interest-!”

“Juno!” Nureyev cried, voice dripping with mock shock, “No spoilers, we’ve talked about this!”

“Right, right,” Juno smiled once at Vespa, before she bolted out the door. “Have fun on your date!”

Oh, she would, although the movie would only be half the fun. She knew that Buddy would find this even funnier than she had.

“Dr. Glass has a wife? But he’s so…?” A student practically yelled at the next day’s lunch break, gesturing vaguely as he spoke. Vespa and Buddy exchanged conspiratorial glances, barely biting back a laugh.

“Just because someone’s a dramatic, feminine, heels and makeup-wearing, pride flag owning, theatre teacher, doesn’t mean they’re gay!” His friend said, hitting him on the arm. 

“Really? Dr. Rex talks about Julie D’Aubigny at Parent-Teacher conferences’ Glass, is heterosexual?”

“... Ok, maybe you have a point.”

“Maybe they have an arrangement? Like she’s his beard or something?” His boyfriend cut in.

“I highly doubt Dr. Glass is in the closet, what is this? The 21st century?”

“Well, either way, it’s none of our business. And we shouldn’t even-” The kid broke off, as his friends turned around to see Buddy looming over them. “Dean Aurinko!”

“Hello!” She beamed, unblinking, “I don’t suppose any of you have a pen I could borrow.”  
  


Vespa stifled her giggles as her wife smiled down at her students, who were tripping over themselves to find her a pen.

“What was that?” She asked, a little in awe, as she and Buddy walked out of the Cafeteria.

“I have such a hard job, Vespa darling,” Buddy smirked, a wicked glint in her eye that Vespa hadn’t seen in years. “I should be allowed to have a little fun.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone is trans fight me


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben comes to Carte Blanche and thoroughly spooks his students

Ben had no fucking clue what was happening, but whatever it was, it was the worst or the best thing he’d seen all month.

It’d been a while since his last session at Carte Blanche. He wasn’t a full-time teacher, but he liked to drop by to check in on his family, not to mention hang out with his dumb boyfriend for a bit.

Said dumb boyfriend was currently not looking him in the eye and trying not to giggle. Ben loved Mick, but they’d grown up together, and when you know every single one of someone’s tells, it’s really hard to keep secrets.

“Are you going to clue me in on the joke or am I being sent into my class at the mercy of nature?” He said, finally, one hand on the door of the studio.

“Psshhhh,” Mick spluttered for a few seconds, “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been shifty all day, is there something going on?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Is Buddy adopting another criminal? Is Sasha finally going to ask Rita out?” He gasped, “Are you going to propose?”

“What? No!” Mick started, only to back down under Ben’s withering glare, “I mean-, not like-, I- Ugh! You know I’d have to run it by Juno first!”

“Yeah, he takes the whole ‘6 minutes older’ thing way too far.” Ben rolled his eyes, “So? Spill!”

“Ok, ok,” Mick chuckled, “Rita made me promise not to tell you exactly cause you’d guilt trip us and she says she loves you but you’re a bit of a killjoy and-”

“Mick.”  
  


“Ok, just,” He giggled, making his way back down the hall, “If the kids act weird, just go along with it?”

“What the hell does that mean?” Ben cried after him.

“Love you too!”

Ben groaned. He loved Carte Blanche, but good lord, there was always something going on with these idiots.

He stepped into his class to see his students warming up along the barre.

“Nice to see you kids haven’t forgotten everything while I was gone.” He quipped, as his students beamed back at him. “I trust that Dr. Glass has been keeping you all on your toes, hm?”

An uneasy silence fell over the class, and Ben may be ‘old’ and ‘no longer a kid’ or whatever, but he knew that silence. That was the kind of silence that you only ended up with when you were the only person in the room who didn’t know something.

“Ok, what’s going on with everyone today?” He nearly yelled, “Everyone is so shifty!”

The kids just looked at each other nervously for a bit, before Ben sighed.

“Ok, ok, class officially derailed.” He said, sitting cross-legged on the floor, beckoning the others to sit as well, “So? Anything y’all wanna share?”

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before Blair spoke;

“Did you know Dr. Glass as a kid?”

Ben laughed. “Yeah, he lived down the hall from me and Juno. Those two used to be at each other’s throats all the time, back then too.” He smiled fondly. “They were their own little gang, y’know? Them and Rita. I mean, we were all a team, but those three were just… in their own world y’know? Meanwhile, Mick, Sasha and I were off living in the real world. They had their fantasy adventures and pirates, and we had bills and parents to deal with… and I guess it just kind of… stuck? God, that was way too specific, but yeah?”  
  


“Did Mr. Steel and Ms. Wire argue as much back then as they do now?” Adrian asked.

Ben smiled wickedly. “Oh, much more. They just brought out the worst in each other, y’know? When they were on the same page they were a force to be reckoned with, but the other 23 hours of the day…” He chuckled. “Y’know that we used to think that they liked each other?”

“Ms. Wire?” Nathan deadpanned. “And Mr. Steel?”

“Yeah, it was dumb, I know. But like we thought that maybe their whole anger thing was like tension, y’know? So like one time, Mick and I decided to go to prom together so that Sasha and Juno would have to go together.”

“Really? How’d that work out?” Samantha said, pulling herself closer into the circle.

“Meh. We forgot about Rita and Glass. Turns out Sasha was mad at Juno cause she thought he had a crush on Rita. On the plus side, Mick and I had a great time. And Glass and Juno weren’t too upset about the whole thing.” He groaned, “Oh, that reminds me! I have to call Juno’s idiot ex-boyfriend, I left my jacket in his car last week.”

“His what?” The students nearly cried out in unison, making Ben jump back.

“Are you guys… ok?” He asked, slowly, eyes darting across his students' faces. Their expressions were a mix of guilt, anger, and nausea.

“It’s nothing, really! We just-...” Blair began, before pausing, taking a deep breath. “... What do you think about Dr. Glass? And… your brother?”

Ben didn’t know how to respond. Had something happened between them? He was going to kill Mick Mercury…

But that still begged the question, how did he feel about Peter Nureyev?

“Well… that’s a loaded question, isn’t it? I liked him fine enough when we were kids… but it’s still a bit weird when someone disappears off the face of the Earth just to come back and date your brother right? And Juno is the big brother, but he has a… difficult history with partners, I’ve always been a bit protective after the Diamond incident, and Glass wasn’t exactly a paragon of virtue. But, I guess after a while I realized we wanted the same things, for Juno to be happy and loved, and, well… what more can I ask for?”

The students mulled over his answer for a bit, but the air in the room was still tense. Still, the kids seemed much more at ease than before, so Ben jumped up, smiling at his students.

“Now, y’all ready to show me what you’ve been working on?”

~

“Oh my god…” Ben gasped, after Mick and Rita told him about the ‘incident’, “Oh my fucking god.”

“That’s what I said!” Mick declared triumphantly, which as much as Ben wanted to be mad, was kind of endearing.

“Rita, I didn’t think you had such a mean streak!” Ben cried, “How could you do this to your bestest friend?”

Rita gave him a ‘look’. “C’mon, Ben… you have to admit… it’s kind of funny.”

“It’s-...” Ben groaned, “Fuck you, you’re right, it’s hilarious.”

“You’re not mad, right?” Mick asked, actually looking cautious for once in his life.

“No, and I honestly I don’t think Glass would be either. Heck, he’d probably find it funnier than I do.”

“Oh thank-”

  
“Juno, on the other hand...” Ben cut in, watching Mick and Rita’s faces fall.

“He’d be mad?” Rita said, looking like she might burst into tears.

“No! No, he’d never actually be mad at you, Ritz.” Ben reassured her, putting a hand on her shoulder... “But, under his whole ‘I don’t care about you or your kids’ demeanor, he’s a sensitive lady. Has it occurred to you that maybe he’d feel hurt about the things people say about his husband?”

“Oh, shit…” Mick cursed under his breath, “You think he’d take it really bad?”

Ben shrugged, “Depends on how he finds out.” He paused for a second, before looking Rita in the eye.

“Maybe it’s time to come clean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben: this is my brother, Juno, and this is Juno's ex-boyfriend, Peter  
> juno: how many times do I have to tell you not to call him that!  
> nureyev, sighing: I'm his husband


	6. Orchids, Peonies, Sunflowers and Chrysanthemums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Chapter: 
> 
> Buddy & Vespa, Vespa & Buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the next chapter is the end, so it's gonna be long and dramatic, and because I am a lazy lesbian, I made a bonus Vesbud chapter! Enjoy!

Vespa had dealt with all types of people in her life. She’d grown up in a rough neighborhood, taken up a teaching job, robbed a couple banks, (not in that order), at this point, she honestly thought nothing could surprise her.

Then Buddy Aurinko started bringing her flowers.

It wasn’t so weird at first, they’d been colleagues for years, friends even longer, heck they’d practically adopted 4 young adults together. On Monday’s she’d bring orchids, on Tuesday it’d be peonies, on Wednesdays a single sunflower, and so on for months and months. It wasn’t so weird to bring your friends flowers, right?

“I do not think it is strange, Vespa,” Jet said, calm as ever, taking another bite out of his sandwich. “Buddy is a very affectionate person, perhaps she is expressing this affection through flowers.”

“Oh, c’mon Jet!” Juno cut in, practically draping himself across the table. “When was the last time Buddy brought you or me flowers?”

“Shut it, kid.” Vespa moaned, glaring at her intern. It’d barely been a few months since Juno and Peter had started interning with Buddy, and somehow they’d already made themselves at home in their group. “You’re too young to understand this shit.”

“What’s not to understand about flowers? That’s romantic as hell!”

“I’m sorry, doesn’t Nureyev bring you flowers on Fridays?” Vespa shot back.

“I- That’s-!” Juno sputtered for a few seconds, and Vespa caught at least 3 ‘platonic’s and 5 ‘dahlias aren’t romantic, necessarily!’s, before Juno declared, “It’s completely different!”

“What? You think Pete’s trying to tell you he’s going to betray you?” Vespa cackled, practically seeing smoke rise from Juno’s ears.

“Be that as it may,” Jet interrupted, as Vespa took a sip of her water, “I do believe that Buddy is, what’s that expression? Ah, yes, ‘get into your pants’.”

Juno laughed, loud and long, as Vespa choked and spat out her water.

“Jet!”

“What?” Is that not the term?” To anyone else, Jet looked about the same, stoic and steadfast as ever. But to Vespa, oh Vespa knew. Jet was enjoying torturing her just as much as Juno.

“You know it’s not like that!” She cried, indignant, “Buddy doesn’t-!”

“I don’t what, Vespa darling?”

Vespa practically jumped out of her seat. She’d been so caught up in her conversation, she hadn’t noticed Buddy walk up behind her.

“Buddy!” She practically shrieked.

“Buddy!” Juno exclaimed, beaming.

“Buddy.” Jet motioned for him to sit between him and Vespa.

“Lovely to see you all as per usual.” Buddy smiled at Juno and Jet, before turning to Vespa, and, holy shit, either Vespa was just really gay, or Buddy was glowing. “Vespa.”

She pulled a small bouquet of chrysanthemums, doing a little bow as she presented them to Vespa.

“Flowers, for the lovely lady.” Buddy smirked, “Or for her office at least.”

Yeah, it was official, Vespa was just very, very, gay.

“Well,” Juno cleared his throat after a few seconds of silence. “As lovely as it’s been chatting with all of you, I have to go check up on Rita and Nureyev.”

“You think they’ve finished patching up the Ruby 7 so soon?” Jet asked.

“Nope, but…” Juno clenched his fist, “I don’t know how exactly, but I just know that Nureyev is doing something dumb to that car.”

“Well, then,” Buddy smiled, that beautiful, elegant yet coy smile of hers… “You should get going… Maybe Jet can help you out, and Vespa and I could take a walk, or enjoy our lunch together?”

Jet simply huffed and got up to follow Juno, leaving Buddy to turn, still smiling, expectantly to Vespa, who was seemingly rendered incapable of forming a coherent sentence. She somehow managed to string together something about ‘forms to file’ and ‘late for her shift’ before she ran off, hoping that Buddy hadn’t noticed the stark blush that was spreading across her face.

She walked back to the health office, and stared at the flowers long and hard as she put them in a vase. Maybe Juno and Jet had a point, she hoped they did. They’d always been a team, Buddy and Vespa, Vespa and Buddy. She and Buddy had been attached at the hip for so long, maybe it was inevitable that they would come crashing together. But why now? Why her?

Vespa sighed. That was the question, wasn’t it? Why her… Women like Buddy, well, they didn’t pay attention to women like Vespa did they? Buddy was everything Vespa wasn’t; elegant, classy, funny, somehow both a league above everyone she knew, and still a woman of the people. Sometimes Vespa thought that Buddy was a universe unto herself, and when she looked into those deep velvet eyes… she couldn’t help getting lost in that far off galaxy swimming in her head.

She pushed Buddy from her mind and got to work. Back to her boring routine, stitch up some kids' wounds, call a parent whose kid had the pox, give out some strepsils, and the whole time, she thought about how much better her life could be, if only she was allowed to have Buddy next to her for every minute of it. She knew it was hopeless, Buddy could have anyone from anywhen she wanted, but hey, a girl could dream?

As the bell chimed at 3:30, Vespa began to pack up her stuff, dreading having to deal with Juno and Pete’s bickering at home, when none other than Buddy Aurinko burst through the door.

“Buddy!”

“Vespa.” All of the humor had been drained from Buddy’s face, she looked as though she was physically in pain. Vespa instinctively ran her eyes over her, checking her for injuries, but… nothing.

“You ok, Bud?” She asked, feeling timid. She hadn’t seen Buddy like this is in some time, looking like every word she spoke was going to rip a little part of her apart.

“Vespa, I-” Buddy took a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I’ve been too forward or too insistent with my affections, it was never my intention to make you uncomfortable and I value our working and… platonic relationship too much to drive you away just because I couldn’t keep it together. I apologize and I hope you forgive me.”

There was an uneasy silence as Vespa tried to process what Buddy had just said.

“I-” She started, before her bewilderment got the better of her, “What the fuck?”

Buddy looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. “I understand that you can’t lo- share my feelings, but must you-?”

“Woah, woah, back up to the ‘affections’ bit?” Vespa frowned, trying to make sense of… whatever was happening.

“I’m apologizing for forcing my affections on you?” Buddy seemed equally confused, “They obviously make you uncomfortable-?”

“What affections? Buddy, you’re not making any sense, are you sure you don’t need to lie down?”

She looked taken aback. “Vespa,” She said, firmly, taking Vespa by the shoulders, “I’m sorry, but have I somehow not made it clear that I’m madly in love with you?”

“I-, you what?” Vespa felt her face going as red as Buddy’s hair, as Buddy stared at her incredulously.

“Why else would you run away from me every time I try to spend time with you?”

“Because I’ve been in love with you for 7 years and spending time with you drives me insane?”

“You what?” Buddy and she were practically yelling at each other now. 

“Excuse me, can we go back to the ‘madly in love with me’ bit?” She cried, still half wondering if this was a dream.

“I- I have been bringing you flowers every day for months!” Buddy yelled back, “What did you think that was?”

“I don’t know!” Vespa gestured frantically, as if that would prove her point, “Gals being pals? What do flowers even mean?”

Buddy seemed to hold back a scream as she pulled out her phone, swiping through pictures of the flowers she had brought Vespa.

“Chrysanthemums? Loyalty! Orchids? Admiration! Peonies? Romance!” She seemed angrier at her phone than she did at Vespa. “Sunflowers? Adoration!”

Vespa stood perfectly still for a few minutes, gears slowly turning in her brain as she stared hopelessly at Buddy, who for once in her life, looked just as broken as Vespa, while somehow, still managing to be just as radiant.

“You…” Vespa began, tears threatening to spill from her eyes at any moment, “You love me?”

Buddy looked like she was also on the verge of tears. “Of course I do, you ridiculous, ridiculous woman. I love you, I’ve loved you from the moment we met, when you tripped over my dress at that gala and immediately joined my robbery. You’re an idiot, and I love you.”

“But-” Vespa was actually sobbing now, and Buddy stepped closer, a mix of hope and fear across her face. “Why me? Buddy, you’re- you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and I’m just-”

“Vespa-…” Buddy brought her hands up to cradle her face, gently wiping her tears away.

“I’m just some kid, with a knife and bad hair and no etiquette or sense of fashion, I can’t talk to people, I can’t do anythi-!” Vespa began to rant, but was cut off by a gentle pair of lips on her own.

Buddy’s lips. Buddy, Buddy Aurinko. Buddy Aurinko was kissing her.

She was taken aback at first, but she couldn’t help melting into the kiss, Buddy’s hands holding her hips and back against Vespa’s desk, Vespa wrapping her arms around Buddy’s neck. She’d always imagined that Buddy was as gentle a lover as she was a person, but, oh she’d never been happier to be wrong. Buddy’s love was as deep and as all-encompassing as the woman herself. She kissed Vespa like she was going to fade away at any second, like she was a woman lost in the desert, dying of thirst, and Vespa was an oasis, full of love and ready to give, like that galaxy swirling inside of her eyes, was trying to swallow her whole. Vespa moaned, letting Buddy’s lips guide her own, her soft, oh so soft lips, as Vespa curled her hands through her hair, as if Buddy would disappear if she didn’t take as much as she could get while she could.

“Why you?” Buddy whispered, caressing Vespa’s cheek, as she drew back, “Because you are the bravest, most intelligent, strong, and incredible person I know. You started off with nothing, and look where you are now? You dragged yourself out of hell with nothing but a knife and your brilliant mind, and for years you were one of the most impressive vigilantes in the galaxy. You’re nothing like the stuck up, self-righteous, vain, and shallow people I have to surround myself with, you never hide your feelings, you speak your mind, and you, Vespa?” Buddy choked back a sob, wiping away another of Vespa’s tears, before leaning and kissing Vespa again, small and quick, but somehow lasting an eternity, “Vespa, you’re everything.”

Vespa couldn’t hold it back, openly sobbing, tears running down her face as she and Buddy laughed, bringing their lips together again, as Vespa wrapped her legs around Buddy’s waist and they both went crashing against the ground, all smiles and kisses, in a universe all their own.

“I love you.” Vespa laughed against Buddy’s lips.

“I love you more, my darling, my Vespa.” Buddy spoke like she was taking an oath, a sacred vow, and gods, if Vespa didn’t just fall in love with her all over again…

She smiled against Buddy’s skin, and for a moment, life seemed perfect…

“Oh goddammit, Steel is going to be so smug about this!”

Ok, maybe not… but Buddy was laughing, beautiful and golden, and for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vespa and buddy invented romance and I love them so much


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grand Finale!
> 
> It's Buddy's last birthday as Dean at Carte Blanche, which means that she will get presents, her kids will give her students a heart attack, and she'll cry at least thrice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so fucking long i can't feel my hands

Buddy had never been one for birthdays, but she had to admit, celebrating at Carte Blanche was always grand.

She liked to think that she was a bit more popular than her predecessors. Carte Blanche had long been a ‘reformatory’ institution, but the boards that had previously governed the school had been less interested in helping their students that they were making as much money off of their suffering as possible. These children needed love and nurturing, and Buddy took it upon herself to make sure they got it. She knew the kids adored her, that they loved her just as they loved their own parents, but Buddy had always been a humble lady.

Every year, the children would bring in balloons and sweets and cards and presents. Buddy had a whole closet full of birthday cards from her kids, and she treasured every single one. The students were bent on making the day perfect, all for Buddy Aurinko.

This year was special of course. Her last year as Dean. She’d been on the job for a long, long time, and while she would always miss her work kids, she was looking forward to some quality time to relax with her wife, and her actual kids.

Her actual kids, who were as of the moment, not speaking to her. Buddy was quite sure Juno had been avoiding her all day, taking poor Nureyev with him. Buddy had never gotten to see Juno and Ben as children, only adopting them once they were well into their 20s, but she’d always think of them as her children nonetheless. She’d made it her goal to give them love and affection they had been so lacking for so long.

Which is why Juno’s behavior was startling her. Ben had brought her a large bouquet of flowers in the morning, Vespa had been leaving her little presents in her office through the day, Jet and Rita had not-so-sneakily been baking a six-tier cake, even Mick and Sasha had brought her some new cufflinks. But Juno, her favorite son? Every time she saw him, he’d duck behind a pillar, or pull Glass into some classroom to hide. Buddy had to admit, she felt just a little hurt.

“Are you alright, Buddy?” Jet asked, as Buddy stared dejectedly into her kofta. “You seem… distracted.”

“Yeah,” Vespa said, as she reached forward, to hold Buddy’s hand. “You’ve barely touched the curry Ben brought you. And you love Ben’s kofta.”

“This is true. Ben’s kofta is very good.” Jet nodded, stoic and steady as ever.

Buddy shook her head, trying to smile. “It’s nothing, darlings. I’m quite alright.”

Vespa and Jet shared one of their ‘Buddy’s-keeping-secrets’ looks.

“Bud, if something’s wrong…” Vespa started speaking, softly, “If something’s not right, we can fix it. Today’s meant to be perfect, just say the word and we’ll handle it.”

Buddy sighed. “Can you kidnap my son?”

Vespa looked slightly taken aback. “I’m pretty sure that’s child abuse, Bud.”

“And Juno is not even a child.” Jet added.

Buddy groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “So I’ve not just been imagining it. He’s avoiding me, isn’t he?”

“I-” Vespa flushed, “That’s not inaccurate-”

“I do not believe that is his intention.”   


“He’s just kinda busy, with the assembly and finals and-”

“Perhaps he is coming up with a grand surprise.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure he’s just trying to do something special for you, Bud.”   
  


Buddy couldn’t help but feel as though their words were just empty reassurance. She’d often joke about how Rita was her ‘favorite child’, or how she ‘should have left him to die in the desert’, but she truly did love her son. And right now… well, right now, she was more concerned than anything. Whatever this was… it obviously involved Nureyev. It had been years since the ‘incident’ but Buddy always found herself a bit wary when it came to Nureyev. And what if he wasn’t even the problem? What if it was Buddy?

What if he knew? What if he knew and he was angry, and he was never going to speak to Buddy again for bringing shame upon him, his husband and his marriage? What if-

“Woah, woah, woah!” Vespa waved her hand in front of Buddy’s face, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Someone’s spiralling! We’ve talked about this…   


“I know, I know…” Buddy sighed, “You’re probably right…”

She tried to keep Juno’s shady behaviour out of her mind, and focus on her work. She filed her forms, she emailed some parents, she made all the right calls… but Juno was still there, hiding in the back of her mind.

Time flies when you’re obsessing over your son’s strange behaviour. Before she knew it, it was 3 o’clock, and she scrambled to get her things in order to meet Vespa outside for the assembly.

There was a tradition at Carte Blanche you see. Every year, on every teacher’s birthday, there would be an assembly. A chance for the students and staff to show their gratitude and affection for the birthday person. People would line up, and give quick speeches, hugs were exchanged, Rita and Mick would cry, the usual.

This year was strange though. Vespa stood alone in the courtyard, smilingly wryly as she held her hand out to Buddy.

“What’s going on?” She asked, cautiously optimistic as ever.

Vespa just laughed softly, and led Buddy around the back of the building, past the football fields, past the cafeteria, past the Nurse’s office, and that’s when she saw it.

The foyer. It had been entirely redecorated, pictures of Buddy and her students, her family, lining the walls. Streamers, and balloons hanging all around her. Her students cheering, forming a circle around her. ‘Happy Birthday, Dean Aurinko!’ read a giant banner hanging across the room. In the midst of it all, there they were. Juno and Peter, holding an envelope, and beaming.

“Happy birthday, Dean!” The students shrieked, laughing, as Buddy blinked back her tears.

“All of this…” She gasped, her smile wider than the entire Outer Rim, “For me?”

“Who else?” Vespa nudged her in the shoulder playfully, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Happy birthday, Bud.”

Buddy laughed, barely holding back her tears. She’d known her students would go above and beyond for her, but seeing them now, with such obvious adoration painted across their faces… well, she couldn’t be blamed for getting a little emotional, could she?

  
“Now, let’s start with speeches, eh?” Mick yelled, receiving cheers from the students in return.

Samantha stepped up in front of Buddy first.

“Dean Aurinko,” She read from her slip of paper, “I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that you saved my life. Growing up in the Cerberus Province, it was easy to fall into a bad crowd. I thought I had so little time, and so little life, that I nearly wasted it all. But then, your scouts found me, and brought me to Carte Blanche, and turned my life around. I don’t know what I’d have done without you, but I know this; Because I have had you as a mentor in my life, I will be able to achieve far greater things than I’d ever dreamed of achieving. Thank you, for being an amazing person, an amazing teacher, and most importantly, an amazing friend.”

Jet stepped up next.

“Buddy. In the many years I have known you, I’ve always been a little in awe of you. From your days of taking down the powerful and corrupt, to helping the next generation blossom into their full potential, you’ve been more than a friend. You’ve been a role model, an inspiration, and you’ve been family. I love you, Buddy Aurinko, and I can’t wait to see what you do next.”

Buddy choked back a sob, laughing. “Did Rita write that for you?”

“She simply put my emotions into words.” Jet deadpanned, before Buddy crushed him into a hug.

“Me next, me next!” Rita jumped in. “Ms. Buddy, before I met you, I thought that we were a lost cause. You gave us hope, you gave us a home, and you gave us a family! We love you, Buddy, because of all of the love you have given us!”

“Our turn!” Ben trilled, pulling Mick into the circle with him, “Oh Mother, dearest,” He said, giving Buddy a little fake bow, “When you found us, I was in despair. I’d always tried to find the best in life, but it was nowhere in sight. Then you came to us, you helped me pursue my dream, you taught me that it was ok to be myself,” He gave Mick’s hand a little squeeze, “And you taught me that there will always be people who are ready to love and support you, no matter what.”

“We owe you everything, Dean, and we can’t imagine our lives without you.” Mick said, beaming.

“Thank you, Ma, and we love you.” Ben pulled Buddy into a hug, smiling, as Buddy instinctively rubbed her hands down his back, soothing and loving. They parted, Buddy sniffling and Ben still beaming, and Buddy saw them. Peter, her good-for-nothing son in law, and Juno.

“Dean,” Juno began to speak, still clasping Nureyev’s hand. “Mom, Buddy. I- uh, I didn’t actually practise this,” He chuckled, before, reaching out to take her hand. “Buddy Aurinko… for years I’ve been running. Running from my friends, from my past and from all the pain. But when I met you, I suddenly had something worth running to. A family.” He paused, taking a deep breath, and Nureyev gave his hand a small squeeze before he continued, “Before I met you, I hated myself. I hated who I’d been, I hated who I was, and I thought I’d hate whoever I became. I hated Juno Steel. I didn’t think I deserved that name. A protector, made of steel, untouchable… I hated that I couldn’t be that person. And when I met you, I realised, I didn’t need to be that person.”

Nureyev put an arm around Juno’s shoulder, steadying his wife as he spoke.

“I was a lost cause back then. I thought I’d be alone forever, unloved and unwanted.” Nureyev said, and god, Buddy knew how hard this must be for him. “The person I thought I could call a father, whose love was supposed to be unconditional, had turned on me. Turns out his love was extremely conditional. I changed my name, left every home I’d ever known, tried to desert my past. Until I met you, and realised that, like Juno, there were people who’d want me for me, baggage and all. I finally stopped running from my name.”

“You know,” Juno chuckled, “I didn’t even realise this was a thing until a few months ago, when I was trying to figure out some over the top gift for you, but… I’m your son. In literally everything but name. Which is kind of ridiculous? I mean, I’d never wanted to be ‘The Protector of Steel’, I only ever wanted to be loved. And with you, with this family,” he smiled at Nureyev, and turned to Buddy. “I am. And there’s never been a name I’ve wanted to have more.”

“Turns out, I was wrong all those years ago.” Peter gave Buddy a soft smile, rare and raw. “I thought a name was worthless, something to rid yourself on, and to run away from, a burden. But, after meeting you, I know the truth. A name is so much more, I am so much more. A name is an identity, a human being, a home. And I think… I quite like this home.”

Juno handed Buddy the envelope, and god, if Buddy wasn’t crying before, she definitely was now.

Inside the envelope were two pieces of ID. One had a picture of Juno, smiling up at the camera, and one had a picture of Nureyev, smirking, looking devilish as ever. To anyone else, they’d have been just another piece of paper, but Buddy knew, Buddy knew.

“Juno Aurinko…” Peter quipped, “Has a rather nice ring to it.”

“Not too bad yourself, Peter N. Aurinko.” Juno replied.

“You little shit!” Vespa cried, half angry, half incredulous. “I thought you’d commit!”

“I did!” Peter said, defensively. “I said I’d stop running from my family, and well, Ransom may have never been family, but whoever my father was… well, I did say baggage and all.”   


“Fair enough, fair enough,” Vespa conceded, turning to Buddy, “What do you think-? Buddy?”   
  


Buddy had tried to keep her cool before, but she knew that now her eyeliner was running down her face, and she didn’t care. Still sobbing, she crashed into Juno, hugging him tight. After a few seconds, he hugged her back, pulling Vespa into the hug, who pulled in Nureyev, with Rita, Ben and Jet jumping in not long after.

“I love you idiots,” Buddy whimpered into Juno’s jacket, “I love you so fucking much.”   


“Watch your language, Dean.” Juno joked, before leaning up and kissing Buddy on the forehead, “Love you too, Mom.”

After a few seconds of silence, one of the kids whispered to their friend;

“Did the Dean adopt Glass too? And who’s Peter?”

Their friend obviously didn’t share their friend's discretion, as they simply turned to Nureyev and asked, “Why’d you change your name?”

Nureyev only laughed.

“What’s so wrong about sharing my wife’s name?”

The next few seconds of silence were some of the tensest of Buddy’s life.

“Are you married to the Dean?” One kid cried out in shock.

“God, I hope not.” Juno took Buddy’s hand, and linked his other arm with Nureyev. “Now, I believe we have a party to get to. Shall we, Monsieur Nureyev - Aurinko?”

“We shall, Madame Aurinko - Steel.” Peter replied, and from the way he sauntered out with Buddy and Juno, one would think he was smug.

“Mr. Steel is non-binary! He's the wife”

"I knew that Dr. Glass could never betray the gays like that!"

“How did we miss that?”

“Well,” Ben spoke up, breaking the teacher's silence, “Of all the ways I thought we’d resolve this, I have to say I didn’t see this coming.”

All Buddy knew for sure was, as all hell broke loose behind them, she was the happiest she’d been in a long time.

~

“You knew?” Vespa cried, half drunk and pissed as all hell, “You assholes knew this whole time?”

Juno and Peter only laughed, Juno halfway draped over Peter, and twice as drunk.

“Of course we knew! You guys aren’t exactly subtle!” Juno replied, before pointing a thumb at Jet, “Plus, the big guy fessed up on day 3.”

“Jet!” Mick yelled. “You snitch!”

“They asked me a question.” Jet replied simply. “I answered."   


“Oh my god, you fucking killjoy.” Vespa slurred, her arm still slung around Buddy’s shoulder.

Buddy only laughed, before shooting her son a ‘look™’.

“You just had to steal my thunder today, didn’t you?” She smiled, as Peter giggled (giggled!).

“Consider it revenge, oh Mother dearest.” Nureyev quipped, winking at Buddy.

“I never should’ve allowed you to marry my son.” She fake-glared at him, which only made him laugh more.

“At least I picked a better one than Ben!” Juno protested, and Ben gasped in mock-horror, with Mick looking equally scandalised.

“How dare you besmirch my boyfriend’s name like this!” Ben cried.

“You besmirched my husband’s name!”   


“Uh, uh!” Ben waved his finger in Juno’s face. “I never directly besmirched, I was simply complicit in the besmirching!”

“Same thing!”

“Either way,” Buddy cut in, turning to smile at Nureyev. “I’m glad that you took my name as well, it truly does mean a lot, Pete.”

“You sure you’re ok with it though?” Vespa asked, looking genuinely concerned. “What if one of Mag’s folks comes a-knocking? Or the Brahmese? I thought you wanted to stay clear of that?”

“Well,” Nureyev cleared his throat. “Back then, I thought it was something to be ashamed of, something I’d have to face alone… But now,” He beamed at Juno and Buddy, “I know that I don’t have to live in fear. I know that we can face anything as a family. I’m proud to be part of it.”

“And I’m proud to be able to call you my own.” Buddy sighed, snuggling into her wife’s shoulder as her son’s argued about their S.O’s, as Rita and Peter exchanged jokes about Juno’s youth, as Jet poured her another whiskey, and as her wife laid a kiss on her forehead. Sure they were messy, they were chaotic, but they were her family. And Buddy wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap! hope y'all enjoyed this fic!

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me about penumbra on Tumblr, I'm pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos


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